What I Learned in ‘09

Thinking back to 2009 I learned a lot about myself and my purpose on this planet. I would give 2009 a shrug if asked “How was your year?” I feel like there was so much more that could have been accomplished if I would have put the things I learned into action. Here are 4 things I learned that will hopefully stay with me in the new decade.

1. “If it is to be it is up to me“: I was told these are the 10 most important two letter words. As arrogant as it sounds, I think it is true. I learned this year that initiative is needed in life if I am to accomplish the goals I have set. I am not saying that I am the end all, but I am suggesting that too many people are sitting around waiting for something to happen to them, instead of making it happen. This was true of my life this year. I sat back hoping things would happen to me, when all the while I should have been the one making them happen.

2. “Pass the Ball“: If you watch sports, you hear announcers say all the time, “______(Insert Name)_____ is the guy you want with the ball with 3 seconds left in the game.” I always think about the others players on the team and how they feel about this. Since everyone knows the superstar is going to get the ball, why not pass it to someone else unexpected? I have been learning this over the last 18 months. As much as I need to make sure things are happening, I do not need to be the one doing it. There are so many hidden “superstars” in churches today. You just have to pass them the ball. And that is another thing. Why is the church looking for superstars anyway? I don’t see any superstars in the Bible, only ordinary men and women who were passed the ball and did something with it. Some even were passed the ball again after doing something great and were a colossal failure. So, I learned to start passing the ball more and getting it into the hands of other people. I have realized that there are a lot of people out there who can do something with it.

3. “I ain’t saying it’s easy, but they sure don’t make it look hard“: This is a tough lesson, one that is learned through the failures of others. I am on record as saying that most religious leaders I know are deceivers. They pretend to have so many talents and skills in tune, but they actually don’t. One of the key lessons I learned was that I need to let go of all my past church experiences and begin to create my own. I don’t need to think, “Well, my last church did it this way, or that way.” Instead my thoughts should be toward, “How would I like to do it in the context of my worshipping community?” This lesson will help be create new ways to meet the spiritual needs of my community and keep me from repeating the mistakes of the past.

All in all, 2009 was a year that I am glad to put in the past. I would like to focus on a new year and new opportunities. One of those opportunities is blogging more thanks to Will Mancini. We will see if it lasts.

Tags: Thoughts

I Hate To Say It

I hate to say it, but I am a loser. The Cubs are losers and I like the Cubs, therefore I am a loser.

I hate to say it, but maybe Leno may be around a while longer.

I hate to say it, but I actually counseled a guy on facebook’s IM who had marriage problems.

I hate to say it, but I may actually be fat, and not a thin guy in a fat suit.

I hate to say it, but my daughter is acting more and more like a teenager.

I hate to say it, but the Dallas Cowboy stadium really does rock!

I hate to say it, but church planting is much harder than I had anticipated.

I hate to say it, but I am becoming more and more like “them” and less like “us” every day.

I hate to say it, but I don’t think I will be getting an iPhone anytime soon.

Tags: Thoughts

Pastors are Liars

When planting a church it doesn’t take long to realize that you don’t exactly know how to do everything. Over the past year and a half I come come to realization about something that was hidden from most church goers—pastors are excellent liars. Now, when I say that a pastor is a liar, it is 1) because I mean it and 2) unintentional, perhaps on their part. Let me explain.

When you plant a church you have to be proficient in so many areas: Bible study, computer programming, counseling, writing, leadership development, church history, conflict resolution, staff development, human resources and finance to name a few. I have found out quickly that I am not as good as I would like to be in these areas, and know no one who is. However, most churches expect their pastors be good, if not great, in all these areas. It is humbling and frustrating all at the same time. I can see how most vocational church leaders blow up in some manner.

So how does a pastor “slough” their way out of this? They try to appear like they do have a handle on all these areas. Which is deceptive, hence, makes them liars. I am in no means above this, but I am trying a new approach.

When asked to do something that is outside my experience or expertise I have been trying to say, “I am not going to lie to you, I am not very good at this,” or “This may be outside of my leadership level.” This gets some weird looks. And sometimes, in the back of my mind, that phrase that was taught to me from the mega church I once worked at rings in my ears, ACT LIKE YOU’VE BEEN THERE. I’m not a great actor. And I’m not a great liar either.

Today was proof of that. I met with two really great leaders who, through a series of simple questions, made me recognize the leadership diapers I was still wearing. Humbling? Yes. Unwanted? No. Embarrassed as I was I knew that I needed the questions because they made me realize something I already knew–I am not a perfect leader. I only wish I could find out where their shortfalls lie. Then I will be asking the questions.

Tags: Thoughts

Treating Others Like Apple Computer

I got Snow Leopard today for the many Macs in my life (family pack $49). The iMac that Karla uses loaded it without a hitch, but the MacBook I use had a minor issue with connecting to the internet. No big deal.

What was a big deal was the technical support I received from Apple. My helper, Isaac, made me feel calm, knowledgeable and optimistic about the results. I was so at ease that I believe Isaac and I are now friends. This was my first Mac issue EVER, so I went away feeling like this is one more reason in a million to use Apple products.

I want to use this as a way to treat others in my life. In the book Leadership and Self Deception the author lets the reader know that we tend to think only of ourself and how we can get the results we want, but by looking for the results that others want we actually are more effective. I saw this today. By something as simple as using my name repetitively, letting me know what the next steps would be, and making me feel like we were accomplishing the task together, Apple made me a lifetime member. It is that simple.

What if neighbors, business, and especially churches used the methods of Apple support? I think we would be much more effective than we are today at making people feel like they matter, and that they can overcome any obstacle. Thanks again, Mac.

Tags: Thoughts

What’s your method?

Today in a staff meeting with Cornerstone Church we had a discussion about electronic communication to large church audiences. It brought up the issue of transparency, generation gaps, and relevance. It made me remember that I have a blog that I haven’t updated in a long time. I think it is because I wanted my blog to be more than it was intended to be. Blogs are just one means to communicate. And since I have tens of people who are interested in “following” me, I need to remember that blogs, like Twitter, Facebook, and other social networking tools are designed to communicate to a special niche of people. I thought it could be THE method. Silly me. So, for now I am back to blogging. But what is interesting (and I thank Todd Wallace for helping me with this thought) is that different communication methods can be used for differing depths of communication levels. General thoughts seem to be saved for Twitter. Like a t-shirt. Facebook is more like a small group circle. People know more about your life. Blogs seem to be the external thoughts of people who want to think “out loud” with the world. I need all those tools to communicate with the world around me. And to have them communicate with me. As long as I remember this, I think I should do a better job expressing myself and navigating the communication mall of the internet.

Tags: Thoughts

It’s Cold, It’s Cold–But We’ve Got Blue and Gold!

I like cold weather. When we lived in Minnesota they welcomed cold weather because they would say, “It thins the heard out”, meaning wimps move away and only the strong survive. Today in Des Moines it is supposed to be way below zero. I actually welcome it. People need to respect the cold. Every day I drive to work I see kids waiting for the bus in a hoody and scarf. I like to think that weather like this helps people respect the mighty north wind.

Today we get to stay home because of cold. That’s right. Not snow, or blizzard…cold. Finally, it is getting some respect!

Tags: Thoughts

Facebook 500

As I recently stated in a sermon I gave at Westwind Church, I have no Facebook standards. Which means I do not scrutinize who I let into my Facebook world. That being said, I am up to 490 people on Facebook that call me “friend”. I am not exactly sure about all the people, I am more interested in the number of people. I am hoping that this week will allow me to have 500 friends.

When you decide to have no standards, unlike my wife who only uses it to keep in contact with her small group who are now in college, it is interesting who becomes your friend. Pockets of people from the past come to the service. Old friends, friends of my parents, and even the President of the EFCA now are connected to me through Facebook. I find this to be a trip. I have thought about grouping people into decades or areas of interest, but I find that to be too exhausting. Instead I will just group everyone together into one big friendship pot.

If I get to 500 this week, I’ll let you know. I find Facebook to be a hilarious social game (thanks to Jake Bouma). In fact, last week I dumped 10 people from Facebook to recieve a free Whopper from Burger King and there we some who were offended. As if I was actually choosing a burger over their friendship. So if someone is dumped on Facebook they feel dumped in real life. That confuses and intrigues me.

Anyway, I look forward to that 500th friend. In my head I envision it as Seth Green!

Tags: Thoughts

2008: A Year in Review (Part Two)

I thought I would list my “Top 5 Happy Moments” of 2008

1. Sunday, September 7th: The start of Westwind Church. It was an amazing day. Rained as hard as can be and yet God shined on our first-ever worship service.
2. Thursday, July 3rd: We had just finished the 9th and final rally of Challenge 2008. After 2 years of work and planning the week was over and the gifts and talents of 100’s of people were used by God to send and incredible message to 5000+ students.
3. Sunday, January 13th: For my good-bye party at Valley Church someone asked all the guests who attended if they had ever had lunch with me. There were more hands raised than not. It made my heart leap for joy when I realized I had reached out to so many people.
4. Saturday, April 3rd: Grace scores three goals in one game. She normally plays defense but on this day she was unstoppable!
5. Monday, July 28th: Barker family camping trip. We went to the pool and Seth was semi-saved from drowning after trying to swim the width of a pool. Grace also jumped from the high dive!

Tags: Thoughts